Technology
Building Something Out of Nothing
Three months ago today I walked away from a job I’d held for twenty years. I knew it was coming but nothing really prepares you for the moment when you hand over your keys and drive away.
I’ve been thinking about identity a lot in the last three months. What nobody tells you about losing a job you loved is how much of yourself goes with it. Not just the work, the identity. The morning routine. The sense of being needed. I spent the first few weeks genuinely wondering who I was without a title attached to my name and the work. I wrote in my journal: “I feel purposeless without a job, undefined.” I meant it. I had one particularly bad day in early February where I just gave in to all of it — the anger, the sadness, the feeling of worthlessness. I walked around the house all day being miserable on purpose. It sounds counterintuitive but it worked. I woke up the next morning in the best mood I’d had in years.
What I’ve learned in the last three months is that the identity I lost wasn’t really mine. It was given to me, shaped by an institution, tied to an organization, a budget, and an org chart I didn’t choose. After the shock of the change started to wear off I began building a new identity for myself. The one I’m building now is chosen. Every piece of it.
I’ve been working to launch a consulting business: building the website, creating branding, getting organized. I launched Two Bit Consulting a couple of weeks ago, and this morning I received the Articles of Organization from the state of Missouri. It just became real in a new way. My client list is growing quickly. I’ve been writing more, building things, exploring technology in ways I haven’t had time or energy for in years. I called a former colleague this week and told them that life on the other side is pretty dang nice. I meant that too.
I’m not going to pretend the last three months have been easy. Some days were genuinely hard. But I can say without hesitation that I’m happier, less stressed, and more myself than I’ve been in a very long time. The explorer, the builder, the connector - it turns out they were still here the whole time. They just needed a little room and energy.
Website Update
Disclaimer: This is a very geeky post, if you are geek-sensitive, please feel free to skip this one.
It feels really good to be back in control of my website. I missed hunkering down with the code and losing time while figuring things out. I’ve had that on and off over the last several years, but nothing gets me there like web development. I lose myself and my sense of time; it makes me wish we had more than twenty-four hours in a day.
After finishing the Two Bit Consulting website, I was feeling a little listless and in need of another project. I had moved my domain and hosting to Micro.blog a while ago, which is a GREAT platform and there are parts of it that I’ll miss, my posts and content migrated with me, so nothing was lost, but I really wanted to get back to a self-managed, self-hosted situation. Working with Anthropic’s Claude for support and assistance, I installed Hugo, a static site generator written in Go, on my computer and hooked it up to a new git repository on GitHub. A simple git push publishes the updated files to GitHub, which then automatically deploys to my Dreamhost-hosted site. I realized I could go a step further with Apple Shortcuts and created an automation to monitor the local folder for changes, which would then trigger the terminal commands to push to GitHub. It’s not quite as user friendly as a managed host like Micro.blog, but it works very well and it feels a lot more genuine to me, kind of like driving a stick shift after years of automatic transmissions. I’m much more in control and own the whole process, plus it saves me some annual costs! Also, with the automation, I can post from my mobile devices, since the local directory is hosted in my iCloud Documents folder and syncs to all my devices. As soon as my computer sees the changed files, it will push them to GitHub!
I’ve also worked with Claude to develop a web interface to allow me to edit the various parts of my site with a nicer GUI. Which I’m using to type this little update! It works really well!
You can see the result right here — you’re already reading it. Welcome to the new jakefowler.com!
Happy 50th Birthday Apple
Apple was founded 50 years ago today which has me thinking about my relationship with technology and specifically Apple. My first personal computer was a Macintosh IIfx with 80MB of storage. I remember wondering what I was going to do with ALL THAT SPACE! There’s no way I would ever use it all. I also remember surfing the Internet (via AOL, IRC, Usenet, etc.) with a book to read while things loaded. How far we have come! That IIfx sparked a curiosity and passion in me that I had only experienced a few times before. I had used a Mac Classic in high school and college and was fascinated by what they could do, what they meant for me and for society even then. I had also used old PCs before that, but the Mac was approachable and friendly; it was nowhere near as intimidating to use and explore. I have always loved to push the limits of what technology can do and explore every nook and cranny of each device and piece of software I encounter. Apple made it fun to create and connect with others; I met some pretty great people in IRC channels back in the day some of whom I’m still in touch with! Computers made it much easier to find your tribe, especially for the shy introvert that I was back then.
That’s part of the inspiration for the name of my website, Something Out of Nothing. I love the idea that you can sit down at a blank screen and just start creating, whether it’s a journal entry, a book, a website for your new business, a piece of music, or a whole album. Computers offer so much potential to impact humanity in so many positive ways and Apple capitalized on that in the best possible way. I still love to explore technology and its capabilities and I love to be able to share that experience with others in ways that they can understand. This is a huge part of why I do what I do; both the love of technological exploration and the pull to help others use it to improve their lives, workflows, creativity, and connections to the world. Apple’s introduction of the Macintosh and all the life changing, society changing products and services released since helped me to discover who I was: the explorer, the builder, the connector. Years later, I’m still all three. Happy birthday Apple and thank you for the inspiration.
Starting Something New: Two Bit Consulting
Today I launched a website. Wait, that sentence feels smaller than it should, let me try again.
A couple of months ago, after twenty years of working in technology at KCAI, most recently eight years as Director of Campus Technology, I found myself without a full-time job for the first time in a long time. While I’ve been helping folks with IT stuff outside of KCAI for many years, it hasn’t been an official business with its own identity. After taking a couple of weeks to come to terms with what happened, I decided I needed a project to sink my teeth into; that’s how Two Bit Consulting came to exist.
What nobody tells you about losing a job you loved is how much of yourself goes with it. Not just the work, but the identity. The morning routine. The sense of being needed, of having a place where your particular set of skills and experience actually matters. I didn’t realize how much of who I was had been wrapped up in what I did until it was gone. Getting that back, or building a new version of it, has been the real work of the last several weeks.
What I missed most was the actual work. Digging into a problem. Figuring out why something wasn’t working and making it right. Helping someone understand their technology instead of just fighting it. That feeling when a project comes together and the person on the other end of it is genuinely better off than they were before. I missed that more than I expected to.
Two Bit Consulting is, in part, my answer to that. It’s real work, IT support, fractional IT leadership, web design that Maura and I have been doing in pieces for years. Making it official felt like taking back some ownership over who I am and what I do, independent of whoever is signing my paycheck.
I want to be clear about what this is and isn’t. It’s not a pivot. I’m still actively looking for the right full-time opportunity in technology leadership. The job search is ongoing. Some days it’s harder than others. But having something concrete to build and point to has made the in-between feel less like waiting and more like working.
If you know of a technology leadership role that might be a good fit, I’m genuinely grateful for the introduction. And if you or someone you know needs their technology to actually work, or a website that looks like it was made on purpose, that’s what Two Bit is here for.
twobit-consulting.com - I had fun building it. Poke around, there are a few easter eggs to be found. One hint: Konami code.