Walking in the dark

Wed, 10 Jun 2026 12:40:30 -0500

I have always been an early riser. Once I’m up, I’m up — no need for caffeine, my brain just starts running. I used to read, find stuff to do around the house, or catch up on the news, but the last few years I like to walk in the early pre-sunrise morning with our two dogs, Rosie and Gus. I first started walking in the dark in college when I joined the new Student Security work-study program. We would walk the campus in the wee hours to make sure nothing untoward was happening, we didn’t have any real authority, but we had a walkie-talkie to contact Security in case anything came up. I never encountered anything more than students wandering back to their dorms from a party or late-night study session. But I learned to love the campus in a whole new way. Most of the time, no one else was around, I had the whole place to myself and it seemed much more contained somehow. Things look different when there’s less light shining — colors are muted, shadows are extended — and the quiet — so peaceful, almost meditative. I still enjoy that particular quiet that only exists before the rest of the world wakes up.

These days, Rosie and Gus always go with me, they live the routine as much as, if not more than, I do. Rosie is almost always her full-speed-ahead somewhat oblivious self, but Gus is so attentive on our walks. He’s constantly looking back at me to check on me, especially if it’s been raining and there are mud puddles around. He makes sure I’m aware of them and guides me around them.

I often have the best ideas on my walks. I’ll sometimes listen to audiobooks or podcasts — some days, my brain won’t shut up and I end up pausing whatever I was listening to, and then my brain shuts up. As soon as I turn it back on, my thoughts continue. Stupid brain.

The three of us have gotten to know our neighborhood in a new way, walking around that early. As it was in college, everything is quieter, more serene, the temperature is usually still tolerable, and the world feels closer somehow, less expansive and overwhelming. Occasionally there are days that I don’t feel like getting out that early, but the dogs insist and every time I’m glad they did. The only thing that keeps us from going is heavy rain or extreme temperatures. When that happens we all have a little less energy for the rest of the day.

For the last five months, since leaving a twenty-year career, I’ve been walking in the dark — moving toward an uncertain future. While I’m trying to make plans for the future, I don’t know what’s going to happen next. And yet, I keep getting out there, walking in the dark, choosing a direction to go that day and moving forward. Where do I go next? Wherever we end up, I know Rosie and Gus will be my guides; Gus making sure I don’t fall and Rosie racing forward with that ambitious energy.

Future on Something Out of Nothing

Walking in the dark